The Police Reunited to kick things off, and it seemed like the Grammys were gonna be great, but then like most things on CBS, we were let down once again.
The Dixie Chicks won for ticking off all these country music people who couldn't handle that there are Democrats who like country.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers won some stuff for making another song about California, which brings the total up to 48.
Carrie Underwood did not even thank Jazz Legend Ornette Coleman for giving her an award because Simon Cowell told her not to.
And perhaps the most saddening event of the whole night was when Scarlett Johansen looked at Don Henley and asked for advice on making her solo album. Actresses need to stop thinking that they can sing and make music because a bunch of 14 year olds like their bodies. Don Henley, being the elder statesmen of 70's music, just looked at her and smiled and very loudly said "Nope".
Also very sad at the Grammy's- John Mayer's transformation into an Italian Gigolo:
"YOU LIKAH ME?!! "